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96: Line in the sand (friendzone)

013/04/03/passionate-friendship/”>Passionate Friendship (The Thinking Asexual)
What differentiates the feelings in a romantic relationship vs a good friendship for you? (/r/intj/)
It’s not all about sex: FRIENDSHIP is the secret to a long-lasting romantic relationship (Daily Mail)


Full episode text

Relationships are intensely personal, so it’s important to know on the top that your mileage may vary, no matter what the answer somebody comes up with.

For many, it seems that the simple line in the sand that differentiates between “friendship” and “relationship” is sex. Yet as we talked about in episode 33, emotional infidelity is the name of a relationship that doesn’t include sex, yet somehow is still seen by some as crossing the line into romance.

In the blog The Thinking Asexual, the author discusses the differences between very specific relationship types — romantic friendship, passionate friendship, queerplatonic relationships, and more. Drawing the lines between those types of relationships takes an understanding of everything from the importance of a relationship to the understanding between the people in that relationship.

In an intensive discussion on Reddit, many users discussed how “sharing” may be a big part of what the difference is, actually. A willingness to share resources, life decisions, and more seems to be one big differentiator; you can be affectionate for and towards someone, without wanting to necessarily share life decisions. And in many situations, sex may not come into it at all.

After all, study after study shows that the most long-lasting, successful life partnerships begin as and continue to be friendships as well as romantic connections.